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Video blogging will be the decline of western civilization.  It's inevitable.  I'm just doing my part to help speed things along.  You're welcome, conquering alien race.

Google Won't Stop Creeping on my Browsing History

I’ve hit a new low.  I used to think that I couldn’t get any more pathetic than my current status.  I'm a 25 year-old college graduate living at home with my parents, still taking a cheese sandwich to work every day for lunch and spending every night reading and playing computer games in my bedroom.  I figured that was unquestionably as low as I could go, and that up was the only direction I could possibly go from there.    

But then Google started spying on me.

After taking an unsolicited and, frankly, creepy look through a history of my most frequent Googles, It started tailoring the advertisements It was showing me to include certain things that It thought I would enjoy.  

It took me a while to notice at first: a helpful banner advertising an antique book dealer, the occasional pop-up for clothing stores from which I‘ve ordered in the past, an artfully placed ad asking if I have any unwanted belly-fat that I need to get rid of (how does It know??  How???), that sort of thing.  

And then.  It came at night, while I was blithely perusing the Foxtrot cartoon website.  A large, lime-green banner with flashing blue lettering spelling out the URL for the website Geek2Geek.com.  

Oh yes.  An online dating site.  For geeks.   

Holy crap, you guys.  Seriously??  I mean, I have nothing against geeks.  Lots of my friends are geeks.  I'm rather geeky myself, although I think I would classify myself as more of a nerd, because while a geek is actually super smart in a concentrated area, I just spend a lot of time watching Star Trek: The Next Generation and reading fantasy novels.  And blogging.  And laughing at physics-related cartoons even though half the time I don't really know what I'm laughing at.  It just makes me feel smart to read them.  

So, nothing against geeks, but I'm slightly miffed that Google thinks I am so unsalvageable that I can't even procure a lousy first date with a mainstream person.  Granted, I like to listen to the Star Wars soundtrack on my ipod and re-enact the movie in my mind when I'm bored at work ("Get clear, Wedge, you can't do any more good back there!"), and I may or may not have dressed up as the Queen of the Renaissance Fair for the last two Halloweens in a row.  Okay I'm not making a very good case for myself, here.   

But apparently Google sniffed out my “single” status on Facebook, and that in combination with the amount of time I spend on websites like xkcd and the aforementioned Foxtrot was enough to set off some cyber alarm bell and alert the internet to the fact that I am a helpless, single geek who is unable to find romance with anyone other than my own kind.  

Which is kind of true.  

Not that I’m looking or anything.