Thank you for hydrating my skin! You are so light and smooth, and you make my face feel good. I love the way that you smell like oranges. Or lemons. I’m not very discerning at 6.50am. Either way, you smell delicious, kind of like you would taste really good. But you don’t taste good. (Don’t judge me. I was curious.)
That’s okay, because whatever the ingredients are that make you so perfect are likely toxic and would probably kill me if I ate a whole jar of you. One time, I ate a whole tin of Sucrets because they tasted like candy and my mom had to call Poison Control! Did you make yourself taste bad on purpose to keep me safe? That was so thoughtful of you!
Thank you, Avalon Organics Vitamin C Oil-Free Moisturizer, for having a rancid flavor and saving me an embarrassing phone call to Poison Control, and possibly a trip to the emergency room to have my stomach pumped.
Thank you also for your continued efforts to make my skin smooth and silky. Keep up the good work! I will see you tonight after I wash my face. I can't wait!
Your friend,
Molly
