Where have I been?

I can’t believe I’ve only posted once this month…sorry!  Not like I think any of you are waiting with bated breath to hear what I’m going to say next, but I can’t help feeling slightly guilty for depriving you of my brilliance.  I honestly don’t know where my brain has been!  I guess nothing worth telling has happened lately.  But that’s all over now, because this morning right before my alarm went off I had a really gross dream, and I think you need to hear about it.  

Okay.  So here’s what happened.

I was at some generic, non-descript farm somewhere, and I was walking around in one of the pastures looking for a halter that one of the horses had broken while he was out the previous evening.  The field had just been planted with who knows what, so I was walking around the edges to keep away from the freshly ploughed area.  I don’t know why in my dream it made sense that horses would be put out in a field with newly planted crops because they would just trample all over it and wreck everything, but whatever.  Dreams are like that.

So anyway, I was walking along and I heard this weird rumbling noise behind me.  I guess whoever was in charge had decided that it was a good time to fertilize the crops, and a huge manure spreader was bearing down on me faster than I could get away.  I just kind of stood there like an idiot, and as it drove past me it sprayed my ENTIRE RIGHT SIDE with liquefied horse crap.  It was absolutely disgusting.  It was on my face, in my shoes, everywhere.  And then my alarm went off and I woke up.  And it was Monday.  And raining.  Mondays don’t start much worse than that.    

P.S.  I told this guy who sits next to me at work about it, and he said that if  I were to ask Freud, he would probably interpret it in some twisted way to mean that because I dreamed about being sprayed with fertilizer, it means I want to have a baby.